Remaining Days

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
(Psalm 90:12)

Came across this Korean drama on the TV tonight. The main actress is able to see the remaining amount of time that each person has on this earth. While watching the first episode, a question that came to my mind was, “How different would we live our lives if we are able to see the amount of time that we are left with?”

For her, in her remaining 100 ish days, it was definitely different. A lot more daring, a lot more focus on giving her best shot because it would be the only shot she gets.

Well, I won’t ever know. But I definitely need to change the way I’m living. Food for thought.

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Remaining Days

It’s like…

There’s a cockroach in the living room where you are. And then you skip here and there and make the quickest dash possible into your room. Just as you’re about to close the door and shut the cockroach out, someone shouts from the outside, “The cockroach doesn’t seem to be here anymore. It’s safe to come out!”

Would you open the door and venture out? What if the past few times when this happened, you later on discovered that the cockroach’s still there and you shouldn’t have come out. What about this time?

It’s like…

This Life

If this life is all we’ve got, it only makes sense to give it all we’ve got. To pursue our ambitions, strive towards our goal, clear our bucket lists, play hard, work hard.

What if, this life is not all there is? What if how you live this life influences outcome in part 2 after?

Thoughts while considering how much I’m willing to give to make our innovation materialise.

This Life

UNLEASH Day 2

To-do list when I came back at 10pm:

  1. Shower, of course
  2. Quiet Time with God
  3. Iron my shirt for tomorrow
  4. Check my work emails
  5. Email the Secretariat
  6. Blog – reflect about the day
  7. Research about the issue we are addressing
  8. Think of users that we have identified and identify their needs
  9. Update my notes on my learning for the day – guess I’m not doing this anymore because I have no time

If this goes on for the rest of the days, I’ll probably crash one of these days. Good thing though, is that I get a room to myself so the introverted side gets some time-off.


Today was the day that I worried about the most, and it’s also the day that I can’t wait to get over with. Worried because I know I have my insecurities when it comes to meeting people with accent, not to mention getting into a group and working with them for the rest of the innovation lab. After attempting to enunciate my words the entire day, I sound rather different in my head now, as if there’s an accent going on in my head. Also can’t wait to get this particular day over with because, at least now I know who’s on my team, and I know who to focus building relationships with – pretty settled in a way. Shall not dive into my insecurities; I’m leaving them with God, and also because I need to get back to work.

Two interesting observations for the day:

#1: As a part of the process of forming teams, we went through some activities to understand ourselves. One of it was this segment where we categorised ourselves according to the way we operate majority of the time – namely Say, Do, Feel and Think. I went into the one that says “Think”.

It was an interesting experience to be gathered in a group like that, because all of us identified ourselves as Introverts. What’s more interesting is that we also identified ourselves as “Forced Extroverts”, in that we force ourselves to behave like extroverts when we have to, and then we have to retreat later on to recharge. While I would expect the Thinkers to be Introverts, I wouldn’t expect Thinkers to always be Forced Extroverts. I guess in this setting where we signed up for this innovation lab on our own accord, having understood that we will be in the midst of a thousand delegates from around the world, Introverts who signed up are likely those who are ready to bring out an extroverted persona.

Also, two common traits we found were that we need structured/methodical approaches, and that we need to have all options considered before we act upon the decision. There was also this interesting sense of comfortableness, which is different from what I would feel when I’m in a mixed bunch of people. I guess that comfort came from knowing that everyone’s as introverted as you are, and that everyone’s feeling as uncomfortable about interacting with strangers as much as you are. In a way, you’re for once, not an odd one out in the party.

#2: After we settled into our groups, five of us made very intentional efforts in getting to know each other and getting comfortable with each other. Yes, I’m the only Singaporean, and the rest from Costa Rica, Denmark, Australia and a Hong Konger who’s doing his PhD in the UK. We went round to share about our passions and what we do. Through the time of sharing, I realised many things about our differences. For one, I felt sheltered, in a way that I’m unexposed to the troubles in this world.

The other difference I noticed was that in the stories I’ve heard in these two days, there were quite a few instance where people shared about how they simply leapt into action once they discovered a gap. As for me and the people around me, we wait for the opportune time. And when’s the opportune time, I gave a quick thought about it and realised, I have no idea. Had it been the past when I hear such things coming from fellow Singaporeans, I would have argued that it’s because these people come from more privileged backgrounds and they can afford to gamble with life options but I can’t since I got to support my family. But no. I’ve heard of how some of them are refugees, some of them were deprived of opportunities because of where they came from – basically problems that I don’t encounter in my life and in fact, I would say I had a more privileged beginning in this life than they did.

And I wonder why there’s such a difference in our attitudes. Not that either is absolutely better or worse than the other, but I just wonder what are the factors that shaped the way we are.

 

UNLEASH Day 2

Ankle

I wonder why, You would not heal my leg. That fear of tipping over when I walk down a step, or when I alight from a bus. That worry of re-injuring the ankle when I accidentally kick something or just scrape my soles across the ground.

I envied the actor in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. I saw the way they jumped from a height; I wanted to be able to do that too. He dashed across the stage, from the left to the right, from the right to the left; I wanted to be able to do that too.

I don’t understand why wouldn’t You heal me. When You are able to.

I’ll wait, I’ll listen to what You have to say.

Ankle

What makes you happy?

A few weeks ago, Val asked me, what makes you happy? Not shopping, not eating good food… I thought about it briefly and concluded the discussion with a “I don’t know.”

What an irony. I’m easily contented in that I’m fine with eating anything, wearing anything plain and simple, and I don’t always feel a lack in what I have. Yet, there’s not much that actually makes me happy.

When I capture a beautiful photo perhaps. Generally determined by whether emotions are evoked by the photo when I look at it. And of course, spending quality time with people where there’s trust, honest and genuineness.

Thinking about this question again because I’m googling online to learn how to define my personal life vision, mission and values. Silly thought that just came: Maybe I can try googling for ‘how to determine what makes you happy’. I have so many questions that on second thought, Mr. Google won’t be able to answer.

What makes you happy?