Stanley

Boarded the bus this morning and took a seat beside a man dressed in a red top and a pair of jeans, with a cap on his head. Just as I settled into my seat, he suddenly called out, “Wan Xuan!”

That gave me a scare, thanks bro. It’s probably been almost 10 years since we last met. We grew up together in the same student care. Even after we left, we met up every now and then to catch up. And somehow this just came to a stop without us realising. Searched for his number recently and couldn’t find it on my phone. But now I have it.

His voice has definitely grown deeper. Definitely seems more 稳重 than before. His laughter though, sends chill down one’s spine; I wonder why.

It’s a good morning, bumping into an old friend again. Catch up some time soon!

Also, finally reconnected with a once very good friend two nights ago and still talking. I guess part of me does feel bad for walking out without any explanation. Good to be reconnecting again!

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Stanley

Presence

This thing about presence intrigues me. The first time I was made so aware of it was 2 years ago, when my uncle passed away. I stopped to feel; it felt as if there’s nothing but an object laid in the casket.

Midway into this job, with someone with much insecurities nit-picking on everything I do, I began to feel uneasy whenever she’s around. She need not say anything, but just her footsteps up the stairs, just her presence, are enough to make me feel uneasy. If there’s any way of escape, I would really want to get away from that. Even up till now, I still feel pretty disturbed whenever she’s within a certain radius from me.

These few days, I’m feeling it in the opposite way. When someone (else) steps in, I feel happy. When someone leaves, I feel a little bothered. It happened today too.

I took half-day today to visit those guys in NUS. I had wanted to leave the office at 11am, 11.15am the latest. But at 10.57am, I began to feel the inclination to stay just a little longer. 11am, 11.10am… 11.15am… in the end, I stayed till 11.30am. As I walked out and this… mmm friend… said, “再见了,朋友”, it felt as if it’s a foreshadow of what would happen in 2 weeks’ time.

我想,这舍不得的心情在当天应该会沉重得许多。Ohwells, hope we will really go on skating, singing k and riding horses. Look forward to be co-workers again some time down the road.

Presence

Breaking Ice

After 1.5 year of being here, we finally hung out on a non-official basis. Went to sing k tonight – oh how I miss singing k. 3rd k ever since I left the university ministry D:

And through today’s session, I’m ever more certain that I like Chinese songs many times more. Doing English songs at k just doesn’t have as much feels. That said, quite proud to complete a duet proper today, with 小酒窝. First ever properly done duet yes! When we finished it, O and I were so clearly satisfied with it. We had to do a high 5 for that haha.

This is such a secondary school way of writing about today’s event, but well, I’m happy hahaha.

Tomorrow. Agreed to meet O at the MRT station at 7am to drive to office together. That’s like my usual waking up time, not the leave house time nor the meet people time man. But well, she’s doing this to avoid the ERP. As for me, it’s not for convenience or to get more sleep (IT’S NOT), my objective is to build friendship. Accompany her to reach office way before everyone else does, and have breakfast together, just so that we don’t incur ERP charges. Hur. Once in a while for people la huh.

On the overall, good day! Ohyeah, forgot to mention, three of us sneaked out for Thor midway through the day too. Led by the manager lol. What a day, what a day!

Breaking Ice

Heart melt moment

While having our lunch,

O: You will miss me not? I will miss you leh.

I looked up from my bowl of soup and glanced around to see who she’s talking to. I couldn’t believe she would be saying that to me, so you know, just making sure.

Aww… yes I will miss you too!

That was totally not a placating statement by the way. Just a few weeks ago, Michelle asked if I would miss anything if I were to leave. I thought for a while before saying, “Maybe 2 people.” One of whom is this colleague.

Good to know it’s mutual hahaha.

Heart melt moment

Low Maintenance Friendships

Just thinking about how I’ve been hearing people boast about their low maintenance friendships. Something that I personally would never do because I can’t seem to come to terms with that term, even though I haven’t put in much time to think through it. 

Just read Luke’s caption about his meeting with his low maintenance friends and he ended off with “We should upgrade soon.” For once, that sounded different from the usual, and that sparked off some thoughts.

The boasts with low maintenance friendships often surround how even though they rarely meet, they have much to talk about. Hence, it’s not necessary to meet often to maintain a friendship. It just suddenly struck me that isn’t that duhh? If you haven’t met someone – just like how when I first meet a stranger – there’s all sorts of things to talk about because that’s how much we’ve missed out on each other’s lives. During such a meet up, we talk about what each other hasn’t already known, so yeah, it’s just an indication of how much we’ve missed out.

Yet at the same time, it probably doesn’t feel like we’ve missed out much because. We don’t bother actually. Think about it. You aren’t curious about his life, that’s why you don’t ask about his life, and it’s simply that you don’t bother. Maybe you care about him to some extent, but you definitely prioritised some/many friends or things over him. To put it bluntly, he is on your low priority list.

That’s it. That’s all.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that it’s wrong or that it’s a sin to do that. We all do that; I do that too. That’s because we have limited time and resource. But you know, just admit it and not sugar-coat it into a beautiful-magazine-scene that kinda stuff.

I have a few friends whom I hardly meet, too, for various reasons from both sides. I have my own share of “low maintenance friendships” too. The rare occasions we meet, yeah they definitely felt like great meet-ups with never-ending conversations. One of those friends, I used to only bump into her once a semester because of our time table differences, but I enjoyed every opportunity we had. Each meeting with fruitful conversation makes me leave feeling great about the friendship, but these make me yearn to meet them up soon to find out about their lives even more. Definite not a “This is such a wonderful low-maintenance friendship meet-up, let’s continue to rarely meet-up.” It’s the #weshouldupgradesoon, said Luke and I quote.

Just some raw thoughts.

Low Maintenance Friendships