Uber

Hopped onto the car. Just when the driver greeted me, something familiar caught my eyes. “Are you from Hope?”

Saw a Christmas invite for the last Christmas service on his car. From our conversation, I kinda figured out that he used to visit but stopped coming regularly. 

He said he couldn’t sleep tonight so that’s why he’s out driving. Could it be God – that’s something he asked, and something I asked as well. Is this a mere coincidence or God-incidence? Well, I don’t know, but I do hope this random encounter at 3am at this deserted office building reminded him something about God somehow.

And yeah, knocked off at 3am tonight/this morning :( But who knows, maybe I was really at the right place at the right time :) It’s been a pretty interesting day! Thank You God for blessing this first day of work in this new year!

Uber

Been a long way

Just met up with some university friends to just chat over lunch. Midway through the conversation, one of them made a sincere apology for what happened in the past and I said, it’s okay. 

Finally a sort of closure I guess. I felt a little uncertain in my approach when the conversation geared towards what happened during the Freshmen Orientation Programme planning process. In a way, I didn’t know what to bring up and what not to – in case we raked up unhappy events.

I was the Project Director in the FOP planning. Midway through the planning, a social explosion took place without warning, and I would say this was the main cause affecting my friendships in the course in the years to come. I grew increasingly aware that leadership was not for me and so, I dreaded the fact that I had to step up as the President of the next Student Committee right after the FOP. Life wasn’t easy then because people who didn’t know me disliked me since the camp. I hated the fact that I was in a course with only 50 people because I felt alienated by most of them who heard something from someone else which I had no idea what.

Many things happened in the planning and I guess my Vice Director and I could have defended ourselves. But all those times, I just kept sensing that God was telling me not to take things into my own hands but leave it to Him. And there were in fact times I found it hard to resist the urge to defend myself – and the fact of the matter would have cost some others’ reputation because of certain things they did. But the call was always to not do that, even if that put me at a disadvantage. In my heart, I had wished that some of these people who were angry at me would rise up as project leaders so that they understand the difficulties involved. 

At the end of year 3 sem 2, we went to Bohol. I didn’t want to be there travelling with a bunch of people who disliked me. But God spoke to me one day through a Psalm, telling me that He will rescue me. True enough, that trip became the turning point for many of those friendships, miraculously.

Interestingly, when the conversation geared towards FOP today, this friend apologised, saying that when she took on some projects at the community level some time ago, she understood my struggles. Her face turned red as she offered her apologies. It’s really okay because God showed up to save the day when we were in Bohol. In fact, the reason why we could sit down together for lunch (and meals before this) is because of God’s intervention. 

What today meant for us was I guess… a closure to things that were previously unspoken? And I’m glad there’s an opportunity like this, because things don’t always turn out this way.

And as I’m here typing this on a bus, I’m reminded of a friend who stuck by my side when I felt unwanted and alone in those 2 years. She came by after FOP, somehow, encouraged me through my presidency in the Student Committee, and celebrated with me when I finally laid down this huge Student Committee rock off my shoulder. I remember there was once a committee member lashed out at me on a group chat, and she found out about it somehow (she didn’t want to tell me how), so she texted to offer her comfort. I’m thankful for this friend. Texted her to say thank you – random, but this is what WX does isn’t it? 

It’s been a long way. So many things happened; so many twists and turns along the way. But thank You God for the experiences and friendships forged.

Been a long way

I’ll remember

For reassuring me that I need not worry. Even laughing the mistake off, as though it’s no big deal.

For not ever putting the blame on me, even though I was quick to point the finger at myself. Or maybe you already know that I felt guilty enough and didn’t need another finger pointing at me. Sometimes I wonder if you really know how I’m feeling, and if you do, I wonder if you know because you had made these same mistakes. That’s why you understand, and that’s why you can dispense that grace. 

For asking me if I was scared when it happened. Yes I was. Like when was the last time I broke anything deemed valuable? Maybe when I was a kid and I broke the vase at home or something – or at least a kid would think this is major enough to be scolded for. Felt that same fear last night. My heart was just pounding and woke me up a few times in the night.

For not saying anything else after that, other than guiding me as to what I need to do about it. 

I’ll remember you for these and if I meet someone as noob as this when I grow older, I’ll pass this kindness on. 

And you, I’ll remember you too. For calling and the first thing you asked was, are you alright? For laughing it off too, when I thought you would be pissed. For checking if I was alone in dealing with that mess. For asking if I had found a solution. For offering to help me with it. 

These are somewhat amazing people, that I had never expected to meet. Amazing in the way that they are gracious, kind, empathetic.

Thank You, too, God. For letting me meet them.

I’ll remember

Made my day

Little Martin. Brought him along to work today because there’s cell group tonight. At about 10am in the morning, my neighbouring colleague asked me about my guitar, and we went on and on. Found out about his musical talents/business and interests. Soon after, another colleague joined in our conversation. Then my boss came over and saw that I had guitars on my computer screen, so she asked which guitar I was considering. She noticed Little Martin was there so she picked it up and started playing. Another colleague got involved when that happened.

What happened was that half the office started chatting and playing guitar for about 30 mins. Before I headed off for lunch, my boss took Little Martin with her and started playing Photograph. I left for a meeting in the afternoon and came back to hear the guitar strings ringing. It’s such a fun day at work wow hahaha felt thankful that I had Little Martin at work with me today, because that sparked so many conversations off :) 

And I’ve been noticing how my Relator side plays its role in my workplace. It’s not so much of me trying to get involved in people’s lives, but I do think that God has been creating opportunities for me. All I had to do was to go along with the flow when conversations got rolling.

Supper. Rushed to Thomson after cell group to join my uni friends for supper. Was the one who called for it and was a little bummed by the possibility of not being able to join them because cell group was shifted to tonight, but at the same time was slightlyyy hesitating on whether I should go for it since I have work the next day. But well, Joey drove and I thick-skinnedly made her go out of her way to send me home after supper #thatswhatfriendsarefor :p 

Happy because I had a good laugh. Happy because I do miss them quite a bit. And when I read that Hazel had a bad day at work and how this meet-up cheered her up, I’m glad. Guess it’s the feeling of having been part of something that turned someone’s day around. 

Been getting more at ease with people at work and some friends. While I’m happy, I pray that I’ll not be satisfied just being happy. As in, well, haven’t been feeling (key word: feeling) very enthusiastic in regards to my faith journey lately perhaps due to changes that I’m trying to cope with. Happiness is good, but may this happiness never overtake the pursuit of joy and the One who gives me joy. Also, may I remember that He has placed me here for a reason. 

Made my day