Walked from South Bridge Road to church with Bernice this evening. From what I can remember, it has been a long time since the last time I took a leisure stroll with someone with no concern for time/awkwardness. I should have been concerned about being late for prayer meet I guess, but I was pretty absorbed in the conversation to the point I lost track of time. Or maybe I just didn’t think that much time had passed since we left office.
Towards the end of the trip, she asked me a difficult (potentially sensitive) question that I have come to realise many people have at the top of their heads but just don’t dare to ask. She asked, and her reason was that she realised she was being evasive about it and she didn’t feel comfortable relating in that manner.
I appreciate the honesty. And not just that, her… can I say courage to be herself? The way that she seems to be so at ease with the way she is… not only do I appreciate it, but I want to be like that as well. (On this note, being yourself doesn’t mean being rude and demanding like some people take it to be.)
Her openness makes me want to open up to her as well. It makes me feel that a friendship is possible here? I feel somewhat of a trust here as well – like there had been times when we were both in office and she dropped a text (even though we are seated almost right next to each other) to suggest getting coffee together or having vegetarian for the day, that sort of thing. Trust in the form of being at ease.
I wondered if it’s because she sensed similarity – perhaps the relatively smaller age gap, perhaps my current stage of introversion reminds her of the past her, perhaps she could relate to my introversion, or perhaps we are both INTJ. I considered a few possibilities in my head. I don’t really know why though, but just thankful to God for sending a colleague who’s interested in starting a friendship. In fact, she was the one who popped over at my table to initiate conversations, to ask about me, in my first few days. Also a colleague who asked yesterday, “How’s your day?” Much, much appreciated.
Very thankful to God for this colleague, and another as well. They remind me of the sweetness in relating with people, just when I’m somewhat ready to just sail by and not relate to people as deeply as before.
It seems like, that chiongster in my life came to a halt when I sprained my ankle last September. The quarterly goal-setting stopped. And I haven’t done my new year resolutions either.
In fact, I feel rather lost still. I know what I want to know/learn, but I don’t know the answer to those questions. Guess, I’m not exactly working very hard to achieve them either. Quite a scary thought to think that this might just be the case for the rest of however many years I have left on this earth if I’m not intentional about setting time aside for what’s important though relatively not as urgent.
It’s March next week. A quarter of the new year, woah.
I need to learn to put a stop to conversations. I don’t know if it’s that people don’t have anyone who would stop to listen to them, or that I just have this ‘good listener face’. I keep getting caught in conversations when I need to move on to do something else.
Like, I just left the house at 7.55pm. The plan was to do a quick 5 minutes run and come home for dinner. Then I bumped into a neighbour and he just started showing me his photos to different parts of the world and all I did was ohhh ahhh wahhh. I told myself, okay give him till 8.10pm, then 8.15pm. Before I knew it, it was 8.22pm. In my head I was just like how do I depart from this without being rude; how shall I say it. He finally stopped at 8.27pm. That’s half an hour gone just like that. And I wasted the rest I gave to my recuperating ankle before leaving the house.
I’m not great with this socially appropriate kinda things :/ I have an issue here and someone needs to knock it out of me man. Introversion woes? Social situations, sigh.
Been on the receiving end of resumes since my previous job for various reasons. I think I can feel what the HR people feel when they receive resumes – unpleasant. And I think, if I want a career change next time, I can consider being a career coach with MOE.
Can I just highlight, first impression counts?
The last step of lohei. And I’m seeing it. All those years of leaving angpaos in different corners just in case my bank account runs out of money one day and I’ll be thankful for the past me for leaving random angpaos around… yeah, that’s what goes on in my mind, not entirely because I was untidy.
Decided to put a stop to that one-day-I’ll-need-it-mentality and sort out that mess. Counted a part of it and I think I easily have *** lying around. Pretty amused by how I suddenly feel slightly richer.
Maybe it’s because, that used to be how I saved up for my game boys, my cartridges, and secret (cos my mom would scold if she had realised what I bought) stashes of things I want (like DSLR).
I always felt that she ought to give me some credit for scrimping and saving all those years to get the things that I want, instead of just telling me it’s all her hard-earned cash though :( It’s true la, but still… I could have spent it all during recess.
If the way that your bf/gf treats the people around him (especially his/her family) is not a clear indication of how life would be like for you when honeymoon ends, I don’t know what is.
Sigh. What can I say, and who am I to say anything, right? As Kim once said, get a bf first then I’ll have some authority to speak #justkidding #butyouprobthinkingofthat #wontgetabfjusttosayit